There are days when you just feel like the wind is out of your sails and you just need to curl up in a ball and just lay there. Today is one of those days for me.
Okay it sounds worse than it really is, but I'm just kind of numb. I have been pretty quiet for the past several months on this here bloggy thing, and the main reason is that there is a lot going on with my family back in the states. My father has been through a series of health related issues, all exacerbated but the fact that he has dementia, and the dementia is of course getting worse, not better.
This comes as no surprise to me that dementia worsens as people who already suffer from it age. My Dad just turned 91 two weeks ago, and the thing that gets to me is that he is literally trapped in his own mind most of the time. I will be going home to see him in the next few weeks. I am somewhat worried about seeing Dad and wondering if he will remember me, though I am more worried about dealing with sibling drama. I won't get into details but there is a lot of crap going on between my sisters (note: I am the youngest of 7 kids, 5 sisters and 1 brother) and I really want to avoid it if I can.
Another thing that has been on my mind a lot through all of this is what will happen to us? Carl and I are both the youngest kids in our families, and we have no children. What will happen to us when we get older? There is no one to take care of us if we need it. What happens if dementia effects one or both of us? This is an unknown that concerns me and will require a lot of thought and research as to what is possible and what isn't. One thing is for sure; we can't be the only people in this situation.