Express Yourself

After not working for over 18 months, I feel I have lost some of my communication abilities. I was unable to express myself yesterday morning when trying to explain something to my husband. Something simple that had to do with the billing of our household internet/tv/telephony bills. I was unsure on one item because it seemed to be part of a chargeback for canceling one service and upgrading to another. I wanted him to take it to work and have someone who understood Swedish better than we did to take a look at it and confirm or refute what I thought it was. Not very hard, right?

For the life of me I could not put into speech the thought process that was going on in my head. Just. Couldn't. Do. It. Fuck.

Now, I used to be good with words. I could talk my way around, over, through, below anything at one time. I used this a lot when I was working full time as I regularly spoke to people in the office, over the phone and in emails too long to list but now it seems to have escaped me. Oh, sure the blog here seems to indicate otherwise but I can polish the crap out of something before I select "publish." Obviously it is still there though a bit rusty after disuse. Maybe this writing thing is just what I need to keep it in form. Who knows?

The hardest thing is what to write about. I personally feel my life is boring, but sometimes something will just set me off down a path. I wish I was a better creative writer, or as good as I was when I was a kid. I used to write all the time for extra credit and stuff when I was in elementary school. One of our teachers had this card case; you know it looked like one of those recipe card files that every home had back in the 70's. Inside it held cards that had topics, and phrases or even just a few words on them and you had to create a story from that. I was good at that at one time but as I got older, and reality became more important that fantasy I seem to have lost most of it. Maybe, just maybe it is time to see if I can find it again.