Yea, so that didn't stick

What seems like a lifetime ago I said i would try and get this think moving again and boy did that suck.

It would seem that around my birthday I get this bug to try and write again, but I fail miserably. In all honesty, things are good. I guess that is why I struggle to find something to write about. Life isn't crazy, we're back in Canada and I am working full time so it's mostly day to day stuff.

I will endeavor though to do this more often.

Let's dust this thing off

So, I guess it is time to dust this thing off and see if anyone still pays attention to this. For those of you not up on it we have been back in Canada for almost a year now after our little sojourn in Israel.

I am looking for a job currently and feeling the frustration of the glacial hiring process that seems to permeate the public service.

There will be more to come, I promise.

The Facebook lemming phenomenon.

Today I've had it and I need to log out of Facebook for a day or two. There are things that have bothered me since the Paris massacre such as why is Paris getting no -stop coverage when Beirut had two suicide bombers detonate in a crowd killing 47 and injuring many others (also by IS) and a month ago on October 19 100 people were killed in Ankara at a Pewce rally for crying out load by a suicide bomber by there is nothing. No news. No social media outpouring of affection and solidarity to either one of those countries.

Now I'm seeing people posting news articles from April 2015 about a horrid massacre at Garissa University College in Kenya where 147 people were killed by Al-Shabaab anther extremist Islam faction. The thing that's getting to me is that people are posting this like it happened right after Paris. It didn't. Please know your timelines of horrific events. If you knew nothing about this until now you should be angry about that as much as the fact that it happened. People need to seek out news and not wait for it to be tied up in a nice package and delivered to you by CNN or BBC. Go search it out, don't look at only the news sections that apply to you like the US or Europe. Expand your god damned mind and look at the whole world and stop relying on others to tell you what is going on in it. 

Outside looking in.

Today I was approached online by someone whom I do not know who seemed quite taken with the fact that we can move every few years for Carl's job. 

We get this often, and I sometimes think people romanticize what our life is like.  Yes we get to move and that means packing up all your crap and deciding what stays and goes and what's important to you or not every 3-5 years. Yes that leaves you with a slightly pared down life, but you don't have the ability to keep heirlooms and items that may be important to you as easily as you think. 

Yes we get to travel to new places and make new friendships, but we also have to leave those friendships behind and be away from our families for long periods of time too not to mention we need to start all over again when we get somewhere new. 

We're currently on holidays and in Canada visiting Carl's family. Last night we went to dinner at my sister and brother-in-laws house. As we sat at the table talking I noticed a lush, big, beautiful fig tree in their dining room and all I could think was; "wow that is beautiful, but I can't have one because I'd eventually just have to give it away or throw it out." 

I think I'm getting weary of thinking in those terms and I'm really looking forward to being able to come home to Canada in a couple of years. The grass is always greener on the other side, right?

A trip to Jerusalem

On Saturday Carl and I took a trip to Jerusalem to explore the Old City and see some sites.

We were able to see the Western Wall, though no pictures down near it as it was Shabbat. We also went to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher which is where tradition states is "Calvary" or Golgotha where Jesus was nailed to the cross, as well as where his tomb was. For an interesting account of the church, go to the Wikipidia entry for the Church of the Holy Sepulcher

Here are some photos from that trip.

Outside Jaffa Gate

A view over the Old City

The Western Wall, the Al-Aqsa Mosque Minaret and the Dome of the Rock.

The Edicule which houses the Tomb

The Golgotha (Calvary) Altar, the traditional site of the Crucifixion. 

Not good, not bad, just different. VERY different

One of the "joys" of constantly moving from place to place is learning how things operate in your new country. For instance; when we were in Sweden you could do almost anything via the internet, or using email or text. I could book a doctors appointment online and receive a text moments later confirming it. If I sent an email asking for directions or assistance the conversation would continue via email until information was given or received or a resolution occurred. Basically you could do a lot of stuff without have to actually talk to or see anyone.

Here in Israel if you send an inquiry what you get in response is them asking for your phone number so they can call you. Everything here is done over the phone. Quotes for purchases, reservations, making appointments.... everything. My phone has never rung so much and I hate it, as it usually happens when I am driving. My friends in Sweden will know full well that I despise having to actually use my mobile phone as a phone. I like doing things by email so I have a record of it that I can refer to later. Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger and oftentimes I forget things or remember them incorrectly. By having to have a phone conversation I have to take notes. Those notes when I go to look at them later are generally out of context and I think I need an Enigma machine to decipher what the hell I was talking about.

Another big change is how grocery shopping here works. Back in Sweden and I know at home you have the ability to shop and check yourself out either by scanning the items as you shop and paying as you leave at a self-serve kiosk, or self check-out in almost any grocery store. Here you have to wait in line for a cashier to ring you up. Even though here all the items are scanned by barcode just like at home, every item still has the sale price stuck to it by a pricing gun. I have not seen a pricing gun in 15 years until I moved here.

Also along the lines of a grocery store, both in Canada and in Sweden you can shop the for cuts of meat that have already been butchered in various ways and packaged for your convenience, and has a label with the weight, and the sale price affixed to it. I can get ground beef, ground pork, steaks, chops, beef for stews, sliced beef for stir fry and a myriad of other options. Here you have to go to the meat counter and ask the butcher for each item. Sure they will have pre-packaged ground meat and chicken breasts and the like, but behind the counter and you still have to speak to someone and ask for it. If you want a cut of meat a certain way you have to know what you want, and what is is called here as the cuts can be named differently, and hope that the butcher speaks English as chances are my Hebrew is worse than their English.

At first these differences are scary, then annoying but eventually you get used to them. Usually when you do it is time to pack up and leave again.

Another year ends. My thoughts on 2014 and the New Year.

Here we are at the end of another year. In some ways the past 365 days have flown by, in other ways it seems to have crawled by as slow as molasses. It has been a year of fun, joy, sadness, frustration and loss. Pretty much as it should be I guess. It is rare to have the opportunity to have the "perfect year" though just once I would like to see what it is like

We did some fun things this past year like drove to the Arctic Circle, visited London, had some wonderful visitors in Stockholm and a trip back to Ottawa to catch up with friends there. It was also the year my Dad passed away and my family ceased to tolerate each other. We left Stockholm and said goodbye to our friends there for the what was then unknown life in Tel Aviv, Israel.

Israel thus far has not been without its challenges, but at the end of the day when I look at the complaints I have they pale in comparison to the problems of many others. Leela Alcorn, the transgender teen who took her own life this week by walking into traffic because of being rejected by her ultra-conservative religious parents, african-american teens who need instruction from parents on how to behave when, not if they are stopped by a police officer to ensure their safety and in some cases stay alive, the continued persecution of the LGBTQ community in countries all over the world for fighting to love who their biology deems correct, refugees of wars and conflicts all over the globe who are caught in the middle of of idealistic and religions zealotry.

For my friends and my family I wish you all comfort and peace in 2015. I hope that this year in the world more problems get solved than created. I wish that people could take a moment to look outside their own lives and comfort zones to look at what is happening around them and take action to make it better. Volunteer, make donations to charities and organizations that you believe in. Start seeing the homeless and the hungry on the street and stop looking through them. I know it is idealistic, but if we all took just a little bit better care of each other the world would be a much better place indeed.

Starting to get settled, sorta

Here we are now a bit over three months in Israel. I have had some interesting experiences and I have had to greatly adjust my expectations on some things.

Things move at their own pace here, and you have to realize that in order to maintain your sanity. The best example is the fact that we have been trying to purchase a second vehicle from one of the other embassies here, who is selling some of their fleet. This has been going on for over a month because the guy who was working on it at the other embassy had to go on holiday for a week, Carl is busy with work and can't devote all his time to making this happen, and the car has to go in my name as we are only allowed one vehicle tax exemption per per person. We are buying this vehicle "passport to passport" as it is known here so it is going from one diplomat or diplomatic mission to another and we are exempt from taxes. Now this is great but we have to have the approval of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Israel and it has to be cleared with Customs too! All of that takes a bit of time, and being as we are unfamiliar with the process we keep finding that there are one or two mere things that need to be signed by both parties. Hopefully this will happen by next week.

As we get closer to the "holidays" as we know them it becomes very evident that we are in a different part of the world where Christianity is not the majority. Christmas is just another day here, so much in fact that our doctor tried to book an appointment for Carl on Christmas Day. I am looking forward however to traveling to Nazareth next week to go to one of the Christmas Markets there. It will be my second visit to Nazareth. I have not been to anywhere else yet really as I don't have wheels yet. As soon as I have a car there will be many opportunities for day trips as everything is a short drive away. That will allow me to ramp up some photography again too.

I won't lie, it's been a struggle for me to adjust to Israel. The people are lovely, and once they find out we are newly arrived it is always "welcome to Israel!" Language has been a bigger issue than we were let to believe. We were told by many, including those who worked on Carl's relocation in Ottawa that "everyone there speaks English" and we have found that is not the case, but we are working on learning some Hebrew soon. My main course of action is to focus on the things that I enjoy, find things that I like here and explore those and let the other stuff that annoys just fall by the wayside. I can't put so much energy into things that get to me. We've also joined a gym so I am hoping the endorphins will kick in too.

I will endeavor to update this thing a bit more often as well.

Cheers!

One month down, 35 more to go.

We've now been in Israel for one full month. In some ways it seems like longer, in others shorter. We're in the home that will be our SQ (Staff Quarters) that we will be in for the duration of our stay. It was rented just as we arrived so there are still a few things that require attention. As a result we've had workmen here a lot over the past couple of weeks. The dogs, especially Folsom are basically freaked out by the comings and goings. 

I'll be glad when our stuff arrives and we can combine it with the furniture provided by the Embassy and it will feel more like our place. Right now it's hollow and echoes like crazy and I have headaches from Folsom barking all the time. :/

One week in....

So here we are, one week after arriving in Tel Aviv. So far things are good however it doesn't feel completely real yet as we are in temporary accommodations, probably for another week or so. The house has been identified and they are working on getting it ready for us. We've not seen the inside but we drove past it and it looks nice, I think we will be very happy there.

The dogs are doing a fairly good job of adjusting to living in a small apartment, even though it's temporary. Folsom, our lab though is not a city dog at all. He pretty much freaks out on walks from the sounds of the busses and other traffic to just the sheer number of people around him. I think he is relieved when he realizes we've entered the small gangway to the place we are staying. Sierra on the other hand wants to meet every dog and person she passes and smell all the smells. When we get to the house the neighborhood is laid out well for walking so I will continue the walks as the yard is not that big and the exercise is good for the pets.

We've also had a lot of opportunity to meet a lot of people this week. Another spouse from the Embassy who is the Community Coordinator was kind enough to take us out last Monday and drive us around both Tel Aviv and Herzliya where we will be living. We've also met up with several other people who happened to be in Tel Aviv at the same time we are such as Travis, Mark, Ami, Jonathan, and connections with Rugby brethren Lee and Mickey, and a few very nice locals as well. Carl tackled his first week of work and we both came down with colds (I got it first and gave it to Carl).

All in all it's been a very busy first week. Far busier than I could have imagined. After we get some laundry done today and maybe a bit of shopping we are just going to relax for the rest of Sunday.

Adventures in Israel

So, we made it. We're in Tel Aviv in a small 1 bedroom apartment with the dogs until our house is ready in the suburb of Herzliya. Carl and I have unpacked the items we need to, and the dogs are adjusting surprisingly well to a walk schedule as opposed to us just letting them out on the lawn which is what they've done their whole lives. 

This morning was comically problematic however. There is a gate that leads to the entry of the apartment building that's never been locked. Until this morning. At 6:00 I was awake as I had fallen asleep early so I thought I'd take the dogs out early as their last walk last night was a bit early. I got the dogs into the elevator (small, even smaller than some in Stockholm) got out the door and down the gangway aaaaand gate is locked. I tried the keys that we have but even though one fits the tumbler It won't turn. 

In frustration I return upstairs and wait to see by looking out the window when someone else might open the gate. At 7 am I phone the landlord to inform him and he's surprised as he said no one locks the gate. He says he will bring keys to it today. Finally about 8am I look outside and the gate is open so the dogs and I rush down and they do what they need to. I'm surprised at the resilience of the dogs to adapt, and think they are being marvelous. 

Last night we had an amazing dinner at La Shuk on Dizengoff, did some grocery shopping, and in general vegged out. We will do a bit more today, but not much. 

What makes a home?

Today is packing day at our house. The movers have come to remove our footprint from the Staff Quarters (SQ) that we've occupied for the past 4 years. 

As little by little and room by room the 4 guys go about their tasks, turning a home back into a house. I remember the first day we arrived here and it was such a blank space. That's how it feels again. In many places SQ's come furnished and you bring your own 'stuff' to make it your own. It works, but when it's done and all your items are in boxes again, the house ceases to become a home. It's a sad day that is. 

Yes, we're still going.

Our move to Tel Aviv is just 6 days away. By this time next week I will be waking up in Israel. I have been contacted publicly and privately by friends and relatives with their concerns and fears for our safety. As much as I appreciate that concern and on some level I understand it, please be aware that those statements make moving to another country, which is stressful in any circumstance that much harder.

This will not be a political post. As the spouse of a Canadian government employee I have no politics. What I will say though is Tel Aviv is still very safe. Life goes on, people go out to eat and party, people go to work, visit friends and are social, and life continues on. Tel Aviv was one of our choices that we submitted for consideration. This is not a posting arbitrarily thrust upon us by Carl's employer and being aware of the history of the region it would be disingenuous for us to say that we never could imagine this would happen. We both look forward to seeing what Tel Aviv, Israel and the region have in store for us and exploring where we can. The reality of my husbands career is that we may be posted to a tough place now and again. It goes with the job and everyone in the Department of Foreign Affairs, Trade and Development knows that.

As for me, I have no idea what I will be doing there. Will I work? Im going to try but my first point of order is to establish our home there once we have our housing and our shipment arrives. After that is said and done I will see what's next for me. 

We both appreciate all the concern for our well being, but please support us instead of question us. Remember we will more than likely be swimming in the Medeteranian on Christmas Day and you won't be. It can't be that bad. ☺️

Now it's getting real.

Yesterday I went to the Israeili embassy and picked up our passports with our new visas in them. Next Monday the movers arrive to pack up our house and ship belongings either to Tel Aviv or back home to storage in Ottawa. The final vet appointment for the dogs is booked in order to comply with the requirements for the veterinary certificate for entry into Israel. We are scheduled to leave Stockholm on Augudt 30. Moving is a "go."

This week is a week of making sure that the inventory is updated to reflect what goes where, organizing the items in the house as best we can into the 4 categories that items need to fit into, and throwing out still more stuff. The dogs can tell there is something happening though they're not sure what yet. At this point I'm as calm as I can be under the circumstances. There are a few things still unknown at our destination ( such as where we will be living ) but I have faith based upon correspondence yesterday that this will soon be remedied. 

Even though the move is stressful, any move is let's face it, I'm starting to get excited at the prospect of being somewhere new. I will miss Sweden and my friends here for sure, but there is just a bit of excitement at being somewhere again unknown to me. 

Starting to feel real now.

Here it is June already. The time is flying by quickly now and before I know it, we will be off to Israel to live. I've already submitted our 3 month notice to the utilities that we subscribe to end service at the end of August. Next week we are heading back to Canada for some training and to see both of our families albeit brief on the family visits on both ends. Thank god for our friend Runar who watches our dogs most of the time when we travel, I don't know what we would do without him. He is one of the many people I will miss from Stockholm, and I hope that they all take advantage of us living in Tel Aviv and visit (as long as we have the room as we have no idea what we are moving into yet). We've planned our farewell party as well as a last tour of the area before we leave and we've already started sorting tossing stuff out and packing what little we want to pack ourselves. 

There are all sorts of things I am thinking about in regards to Tel Aviv such as; how will I make friends if I am not working? The language barrier and how big will it be (Hebrew is hard!). The climate will be very different from Sweden and that will take some adjusting too as well. I am sure all of this will be sorted, but it's still rolling through my mind a few months before we pull up roots and move. 

I do look forward to the adventure, but I really just kind of want the move portion to just be over as quickly and painlessly as possible.

".......Aren't you excited??......"

As we are preparing to move from Sweden to Israel (more than likely mid-August) this is the question I get most often. My standard answer now is;"do you get excited when you move?" Moving is a pain in the ass whether it is across the street or across the globe. This will be my third international move in 7 years, and Carl's fifth international move in 14 years. We are not going on vacation, we are relocating so excited is not the word I would use. Nervous, curious and stressed? Yup those might apply.

We move because of a job. Yes it is our choice as we are able to submit our preferences for positions abroad. That job can take us to some far away places and we do have amazing experiences there, I can't deny that. It is however a move, picking up our lives and living it somewhere else. For us it means trying to figure out what to bring and leave behind (or in this instance bring and send back to Canada), getting our dogs to the destination safely, tons of paperwork, updating our inventory, making sure the dogs meet the health requirements of the new country, obtaining new ID's, leaving behind friends, find a new doctor, dentist, veterinarian, barber, gym, learning a new language and in my case if I can't work finding things to do to occupy my day.

At the end of the day, of course I look forward to the adventure of living someplace new. Tel Aviv will be far different from anywhere I have lived before and will present a lot of challenges as well as opportunities, but we need to get there first.

The life of a Diplomat and the family that follows them is far different in reality than what film and television would lead you to believe. It's a job. Every morning you go to an office and perform tasks that are assigned to you. Often times it is easier on the employee as that person steps back into their home country every time they step into the Embassy. The family though are the ones who are immersed in a new language and culture who have to figure out the mundane things like where to shop, can I read labels in this language and where to get gas. Children need to adjust to a new school environment and make friends all over again. For couples with children that is a great network to meet people as all those kids have parents too. As a gay couple it can be more of a challenge.

There are a lot of things to mull over when you make a move like this, so that is what goes through my mind currently. Before we even get there we have to say goodbye to those who we have met here in Sweden. That is always the hardest part, but I've always said if it doesn't hurt when you leave, you didn't do it right.

When your sense of safety is shattered.

This past weekend we had two friends, Duane and Jan visiting from Amsterdam and on Friday we had been out being touristy.

Friday night, Duane was not feeling well so he went to bed right after dinner. The remaining 3 of us stayed up and watched VEEP. At 9:30 I took the dogs out and then put the car in the garage. The lights in the entry were way were off so I must have locked everything up for the night.

A bit after 10 pm I went to bed, Jan and Carl stayed up to watch another episode of VEEP. I was in bed surfing, the dogs were in the room with me (Folsom on his bed on the floor, and Sierra up on the bed with me and they were both asleep.) When the show was over Carl dropped all his stuff into the room and then went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, shutting the door. Jan had gone downstairs to get ready for bed himself. Carl could not have been in there more than 5 minutes, he opened the door and then started shouting “who the fuck are you, get out of my house” and took off running.

I jumped out of bed and ran after him. He’d run out the front door, Sierra running after him and was down the street almost to the top of the hill. I could hear him wheezing from his asthma. Sierra came right back to me and Carl yelled at me to call the cops, we had just been broken into. Jan who was downstairs until Carl shouted and ran out of the house never heard any noise from the thieves either.

I phoned the police and they said someone would be there quickly, and they were. The first responder was a guy with a canine unit who walked around the neighborhood to see if he could find them and checked on our neighbors home.

Carl’s old laptop was stolen out of the living room, his Blackberry was stolen as well. My wallet had been gone through, but nothing taken except 20SEK and the box of change that we had on the secretary was missing, all full of 1 SEK coins. They could not have been in the house long at all. As the perps ran away from Carl they dropped his laptop.

The police came (they were cute) and took our statements and Carl’s BBY number. Sierra, was chewing something, and it appeared to be gum. The cops collected it as all we could think was that one of the theirs had spit it out when they ran out. Thirty minutes or so after the police arrived, another group of police knocked on the door, and they had found the box of change. The thieves has dropped it in one of our neighbors driveway. The police picked it all up and brought it back to us, keeping the box to dust for fingerprints. Later we realized that a bottle of Vodka and a bottle of wine was missing too.

Saturday morning I want to the hardware store and bought some items to help me secure the house and installed them right away. We make sure we double and triple lock everything now. All of that helps but we are still shaken by the fact that these individuals were able to get into our house, while we were home without us knowing it. That is really damn scary. Apparently we are the 5th or 6th house in the neighborhood this has happened to, though that doesn't make it any easier.

We no longer feel safe in our own house. It creeps me out to go downstairs at night to make sure everything is locked up without having to turn on every light, afraid of what might be around the corner. Today, Monday was the first time I have been alone in the house since this happened, and even on a sunny day if I hear a noise, or one of the dogs start barking and I can't immediately see the reason why, the hair on my arms stand up.

This feeling will pass, I know it will but until then it feels really weird.

Some of my favorite things.....

When you're an expat you often leave people behind that you know and love. You also leave things that are familiar to you and that you took for granted when you lived in your home country. For some reason lately a list of things I am craving lately (mostly food) keeps rolling through my mind. I am going to endeavor to write these down with the hope that list will leave my brain.

• Tater tots
• In and Out Burger
• Taco Bell
• Dairy Queen
• St. Hubert Chicken
• Real Mexican Food
• Real Maple Syrup
• Pizza, with lots of meat.

There, we will see if that works or not.

A New Year and a New Journey Begins

Happy New Year, dear readers. Yes, I know I had said I would make an effort to post here more often and I have failed miserably. Life tends to get in the way of sitting down and typing out your thoughts and feelings when you have a hard time sorting them out in your head as it is.

The year that was 2013 has had some major ups and downs; good for me and my husband for the most part, but a tough one for my family in general. The health of my father, who is 91 and suffers from dementia has been a major stressor to our family as a whole, and my eldest sister ended the year having to have major surgery (she is well and recovering nicely, thank you.)

The main news is that Carl and I will not be returning to Canada this summer, we are however being cross-posted to Tel Aviv, Israel. We are excited about the opportunity and look forward to our time there, but it then makes the fact that our time in Sweden is limited very real.

This morning I disassembled our Christmas Tree as it was drying out quickly and was shedding needles by the hundreds. Now for most this is a simple task that happens yearly, but for many, myself included, this can be a sad experience. The color and joy of the lights and the ornaments collected over the years must be stored away for another year, though for us this is not just another year. Those of you who read my blog (when I post) and are part of the expat community that relocates regularly will nod your heads and see where I am about to go. Go on, I know you are.

For us, this is the last year we will take down our Christmas things in this house, in this country. It's the first step in realizing that your time is ending here, or at least it is for me. As you take down the ornaments you take extra care in wrapping the very fragile ones. I had stored up bubble wrap just for this occasion, as I know I have to pack these items myself. The movers won't be touching them so they must be as well protected as they can be. They will in 6 months or so be loaded into a truck then placed into a shipping container to meet us at the place we will call home for the next few years. With each ornament, especially the ones recently purchased while we have been in Sweden a memory comes to mind. The hand-blown glass balls in gold and blue bought at Skansen, the Thor we bought in Florida on vacation, the wooden moose and Lucia ornaments too. Each of these reminds me of friends we have made here, and friends we will leave behind. Now, of course we will remain friends across the miles, but the living in close proximity to these people will be drawing to a close.

This happens to us often, and we are used to it at some level, though it doesn't make it any easier. I have often told myself that if it doesn't hurt to leave a place I have lived, then I did it wrong. I look forward to the next six months or so of being with those who are now my friends, and those who will visit us for the first time in Sweden, and those who want to make one more trip before we go. Thank you all for helping to make this our home.

Sleepless nights and weird dreams

On Monday the 28th we are leaving Sweden for a little over two weeks for a trip to the US. A stop in the Chicago area to visit my family but primarily to see my 91-year-old father who is in a care facility suffering from dementia, as I have mentioned briefly in a previous post. Then we are off to Fort Lauderdale to see friends and head out on a cruise.

As much as I am looking forward to the second part, I am unsure about the first part. my siblings have been arguing about Dad's care and some of them are not even speaking to each other. It's been almost 20 months since I saw my father last, and and I know that occasionally he does not recognize my sisters who are around him frequently. I fully expect him to not recognize me but it still makes me feel weird. Almost like I am walking into something foggy, grey and not at all familiar.

This has resulted in short nights of sleep, waking up and not being able to go back to sleep and weird dreams about loss, death and sadness. I get it is all related, logically I see the dotted lines and connections but it's still unfamiliar to me.

All of that is running tandem with some other stuff that is equally as stressful, and yes I am intentionally being vague right now but I just can't really talk about it yet. Nothing horrible, just stressful. I'm just looking forward to getting to the end of next week and maybe, finally relaxing a bit.